


Some assembly required

by JaqofSpades



Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: Drabble Meme, F/M, so not a drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 20:20:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12066273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaqofSpades/pseuds/JaqofSpades
Summary: He just wanted to be able to fuck his woman in comfort, okay?





	Some assembly required

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nourgelitnius (Ladysarah)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladysarah/gifts).



> In response to the drabble meme, Nourgelitnius requested prompt '90: I’m not buying Ikea furniture again' for Naomi and Holden.

Ikea had its own floor on Tycho, selling everything from genuine Earth water to personal shuttles, the sheer scale of it enough to make Jim curious. And he’d read about these expandable sleeping capsules, and from his calculations, it would more than double their sleeping space.

“Capitalist PIGS,” Naomi repeated when he broached the subject again. “Go down to the market, find me the resin mix. Amos and I can whip up something better than your Earther supercorp could ever imagine.”

And he doesn’t doubt they could, but they were on the countdown for a long run out to Luna and Naomi and Amos had plenty of other shit to do and ... he just wanted to be able to fuck his woman in comfort, okay? “You don’t have to come - I’ll install it myself!” he promised, and sure, she’d glared, but he’s the goddamn captain of this boat! (He took it as permission.)

“Only because I get to see you trying to handle a spanner,” she called after him, and yes, that was probably what it is, but he was sensible enough to hide his grin. He could probably put the damn bed together himself - but the love of his life was an engineering genius. She’d probably take pity on him.

Maybe.

Or not at all, he discovers the third time she swings by, too busy laughing her head off to even glance at the instructions. His knuckles are bloody from where the spanner has slipped one too many times, and the damn mechanism seems to be hingeing strangely. Or maybe that's how it's supposed to work, but the motion isn’t as smooth as he would have expected when he pulls it from the cavity. Nonetheless, four hours later, the captain’s quarters has a genuine queen-sized bed.

Fit to be christened by his queen, Jim smirks. And he's got an idea or two about how to entice her into it. He pushes his overalls down past his hips and streaks a bit of the oil he’d smeared on the hinges down his chest. Then he grabs the tool belt he’d stolen from Amos and fastens it over the top. (Trying not to think about that too hard. Amos and Naomi aren't like that. They both keep saying it, and he needs to start believing it or he doesn't deserve either of them.)

Objectively, the tool belt is kinda hot, even if he doesn’t know what half of those things do. He just knows that Naomi can tease him all he likes, but he's getting very familiar with her tells. "You’re hilarious,” she’d snarked, but she’d chewed at her lip and cocked that eyebrow one too many times and made it pretty damn clear. She liked the belt.

“Hey, Nagata,” he yells, then bends down to fiddle with something completely imaginary.

“You bellowed?” she snaps from the hatch, but – yeah. She’s eyeing his ass and letting that warm gaze roam all over him. Come and get it, baby.

“Can you come and check this out for me? Just crawl into the corner there and push down as hard as you can.” She's still facing the wall, face adorably puzzled, when he pounces, pinning her to the body-moulding, scraping his teeth along the sensitive flesh just below her hairline.

“What you gonna do with this workman bailing you up in your bedroom, ma'am?” he growls, and flips her over to unzip her suit.

Naomi snorts with laughter and yes, his handyman talk is probably a little off the mark, but there is one thing he knows how to do. Lick his way down that gorgeous long neck, and suck at her pulse point until her giggles turn into moans, and she's raking her fingernails down his bared chest.

They are tussling to bite and kiss and lick every patch of bared skin when his newly assembled bed shudders with their enthusiasm. Jim ignores it, but Naomi's not built that way, and lifts her head, frowning. “You sure you put the terminals on?”

“What’s a terminal?” he mumbles, intent on grazing his way down her midline, stripping her overalls down past her hips as he goes.

“Serious--” Naomi's objection ends in a long moan as Jim noses his way into her underwear, lifting her ass up with both hands to let him dive deep. Two long licks and she has abandoned her questions, flinging her arms wide as she collapses back onto the bed.

“Nice, right?” Jim grins up at her, and Naomi thumps him on the back with her boot to communicate the fact she couldn't give a damn about the extra space right now. Still. Jim lets himself feel a little bit smug as he makes her shiver and arch underneath his tongue.

Until she bows her back roofward on a scream, and comes down with a satisfied flop. Which becomes a thump, and then a crash.

And James Holden, vanquisher of Ikea, finds himself sitting on the floor amidst a rain of shattered resin planking and popped fasteners.

To her credit, Naomi doesn't say 'I told you so.' She looks around with wide eyes, then shimmies closer to prop her head in the middle of his chest and gaze up at him reproachfully.

“Guess we're going down to the market tomorrow,” he concedes, and watches her face bloom with approval. He finds himself grinning back like an idiot, despite the fact he was lamentably, demonstrably wrong. He's a sap, he knows, but her mile-wide smile can take the sting out of just about anything.

“No more spending our hard-earned scrip on capitalist dogs?”

He's got a thought or two about the purity of capitalism in the Belt, but right now he'll keep them to himself. She smells like a garden and he's hard as a rock and the wall is _right there_. Who needs a bed?

_fin_

 


End file.
